Election Profit Makers

Episode 380: Could Hasan Piker Name Five Choreographers?

September 1st, 2026  |  57 mins 15 secs

Jon wants to bring his wi-fi router to the G20 Ministerial meeting in Chapel Hill. David tries to remember the names of Sarah Palin's kids.

Episode 379: I Never Want To Bring You Anything But Joy

August 25th, 2026  |  53 mins 46 secs

David celebrates Natalie Harp. Jon mourns his lost almanacs.

Episode 378: Patreon Episode PREVIEW: Where Are The Centers Of The States?

August 21st, 2026  |  4 mins 20 secs

Jon shares his research about determining the centers of all 50 U.S. states! Join our Patreon to hear the full episode! https://www.patreon.com/electionprofitmakers

Episode 377: Introductory Analysis Of Aircraft Carrier Logistics For The Modern Warfighter

August 18th, 2026  |  56 mins 53 secs

David explains what an aircraft carrier is. Jon remembers visiting the yacht of a man who was later killed by drug dealers.

Episode 376: Reflecting Pool Reflections

August 11th, 2026  |  57 mins 24 secs

Jon and David return to celebrate America's 250th birthday and the national outbreak of explosive diarrhea.

Episode 375: The Tell-Tale Apostrophe

April 7th, 2026  |  54 mins 41 secs

This is our last episode until the midterms!

Episode 374: Biblically Accurate Vice Presidents

March 31st, 2026  |  57 mins 23 secs

Jon celebrates a big Duke loss. David talks about the X-Men.

Episode 373: Ezekiel 6:14

March 24th, 2026  |  57 mins 18 secs

Jon and David discuss whether UNC coach Hubert Davis could be the next DHS secretary.

Episode 372: They Could Just Put The Oil In The Shoes

March 17th, 2026  |  55 mins 10 secs

David celebrates illegal speech acts. Jon considers a listener's new method of ranking skylines.

Episode 371: Let's Brainstorm Ideas To Lower Gas Prices

March 10th, 2026  |  55 mins 31 secs

David reads Australian cicada names. Jon reviews War dot Gov.

Episode 370: A Celebration Of Operation Epic Fury And America's Warrior Ethos

March 3rd, 2026  |  54 mins 28 secs

Jon and David discuss the newest ridiculous event.

Episode 369: The State Of Our Union Is Basically Kash Patel Chugging Beer In An Italian Locker Room

February 24th, 2026  |  54 mins 2 secs

Jon and David prepare for the big stupid speech.

Episode 368: A Quick Survey Of Bipedalism, Hindlimbs, And Forelimbs In Elite American Mammals

February 17th, 2026  |  52 mins 7 secs

EPM pivots to animal physiology.

Episode 367: From the EPM Patreon Archives: Field Recording Of Weaver Dairy Frog Pond

February 10th, 2026  |  32 mins 32 secs

This is a recording of an artificial pond on Weaver Dairy Road in Chapel Hill. It was recorded after a big summer storm in July 2023.

Episode 366: From the EPM Patreon Archives: Tournament of Number Songs

February 3rd, 2026  |  1 hr 42 mins

What is the best song about numbers?

Episode 365: A Celebration Of Minor League Baseball Team Names And Stadiums

January 27th, 2026  |  51 mins 44 secs